And then she asked, "Why?"
I did not share the following with her, but I now share it with you, dear reader:
I was six years old when the Turtles became a hit cartoon show. My parents pre-screened it and said we could watch it as long as it didn't become any more violent. All three of us Norman boys loved the show, so for Christmas we were asking for the action figures.
Somehow, this is how the selection of the action figures went down. My older brother, naturally, was going to get Leonardo. He was the oldest and the defacto leader. Keeping with Old Testament familial practices (and also because he was really smart), he received a double-portion. My older brother would also receive Donatello.
My youngest brother would be getting Michelangelo. At the time, he was goofy and ate weird things. (Currently, he's less goofy and I think he secretly eats weird things.) Mikey was a natural selection for him.
So, in keeping with the way things usually go for middle children like me and Jan Brady, I was left with Raphael. As a consolation prize I was also given Casey Jones.
And that's how I became the most awesome brother.
Left with the scraps of Teenage Mutant Turtle fandom, my characters became the greatest ones of all! And as they rose in prominence, so too did I.
Raphael is the best Turtle forever!