Nathan James Norman
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Nathan James Norman

Husband. Father. Pastor.
Storyteller. Reader. Comic Fan.
Slave of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Orchard Church

Background on "Snow and Ash" and My Year In Hell

11/10/2014

12 Comments

 
This past year has been a living nightmare.

It was also an emotional hell. This is the backdrop of the "Snow and Ash" story appearing in The Crossover Alliance Anthology: Volume 1.

UPDATE: "Snow and Ash" has also been produced as an audio drama by Untold Podcast. Listen for free here.

***Spoilers beyond this point, grab a free copy before continuing***


Late last year my wife and I accepted the placement of a little foster child. We'll call her "Hummingbird" here.

She was placed in our care because we were considered a "pre-adoptive" family. When Hummingbird came into our home, we were told the adoption would be relatively short.

It wasn't. We just adopted our daughter this past week.

We loved Hummingbird from the moment she stepped foot into our home. She was about sixteen months old when we met her. Initially, the visits with her biological parents were difficult, but manageable. We were just getting to know our daughter, so her mood swings seemed normal.

But pretty soon, the agency moved her visits to a location which required a four hour commitment, twice a week. The visits were an hour and a half each, but my travel time became almost two and a half hours. I lost a full day worth of work every single week.

The trauma to my little girl was far worse though.

I would tell Hummingbird that we were going to a "visit" as we got into the car. She rebelled. She scream. She cried. Every single time.

Then I'd have to drive with her for a prolonged period of time for the "visit". I tried to make these experiences as easy as possible. I told her she would have fun, then I would pick her up and we'd go home again to see mommy, and Daisy & Duncan (our cats). The drop offs varied, but I often had to peel her off my leg to coax her to her biological parents.

Several times she managed to climb up my legs into my arms, and clung to my chest.

To her, I was her daddy. I was the man who was supposed to protect her from those who would harm her. I was supposed to shield her from pain and trauma.

But to the State of Michigan I was little more than an over-glorified babysitter.

I had no rights. I could not make decisions about who could see her and who could not. The State put me into a damnable position: Take her to these visits where she would be traumatized twice a week, or have her removed from the only mommy and daddy she's ever known.

Hummingbird was a self-confident, bold, joyful and happy little girl before these visits. When she was returned to me after an hour and a half, Hummingbird was scared, timid, clingy, sad and depressed. On the way home, I often pulled over into a parking lot so I could take her out of her car seat and let her hug me as she soaked my shoulder with tears and snot.

Twice a week.

Most people in my life cannot understand this horror. I hope they never do.

Over and over, family and friends would tell my wife and me, "God is on your side. This will all work out. She will be yours." But they did not sit in court hearing after court hearing. They did not see the court's obsession with reunification. They didn't talk to caseworker after caseworker about the possibility of Hummingbird going back to the biological parents' care. Or relative placement. They didn't live under the microscope of agency visit after visit in our own home. They've never been in a situation where they couldn't tell their traumatized daughter that they would never leave her. At any moment she could have been removed from our care.

And God... well God wasn't doing much for this little girl. I prayed over her every night. I pleaded with God in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ every day. I laid both of my hands on Hummingbird and blest her moments before each and every visit: "May Yahweh protect your heart, soul, mind, and strength. May He protect you where I cannot. May He fight for you where I am powerless. In Jesus' Name. Amen."

And people continued to say, "God wouldn't let her be put back into a situation like that. Don't worry."

But the reality is, God does allow people to go through horrible things. Even very frightened, very little girls.  

I trusted that God was all powerful. And believed that he was in control. I believed he had a plan. But his plan might have very well been that Hummingbird be shown the grace and gospel of Jesus Christ, and then be placed back with her biological family to begin a long process of redemption for them. And God's plan might very well have involved terrible abuse of our little girl so she could be a harbinger of salvation.

This was the backdrop of "Snow and Ash" in The Crossover Alliance Anthology: Volume 1.

I, like Erik, did not want to become a father. Not like this anyway. I found myself having to bear the majority of these burdens and it was terrible.

In the story Erik declared himself an enemy of Christ. During my own torment, there were moments where I was furious with God for not intervening. For not putting a stop to this all at once. It felt like Jesus had become my enemy. And in modern literature, I noted, there are not too many people who see themselves as enemies of Christ. Typically,  a person gets angry at God, then walks away and becomes a functioning atheist. But if I'm being very honest, there were moments where I felt if I lost Hummingbird, I would be angry at God for the rest of my life. And even though I knew he was stronger than me, I would be his enemy for the rest of my days. Hence, Erik opposed his people's conversion to Christianity.

Finally, the scene where Honey Bee is forcibly taken from Erik, was the scene that first appeared in my mind. It was how I felt twice a week. I could fight. I could pray. But in the end I was utterly powerless to help my daughter. When it came down to it, any number of thugs could take my daughter and there was nothing I could do.

And yet, in the story God was still in control. Even Honey Bee, though she was abused greatly, could see a higher purpose in the pain.

I wrote "Snow and Ash" at the Darcy Library of Beulah. It was downhill from the location of the visits for Hummingbird. I initially went to the local McDonalds to wait for the visits to be over, but I was harassed and stalked at that location, so I found this hidden away library.

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I love this library. In fact, it is the best small-sized library I've ever seen.

I hope I never go there again, though. It would be too traumatic for me.

After prying my daughter from my leg and handing her trembling body over for the "visit," I would go down to the library, pull out a composition notebook, and write.

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I also listened to the Beowulf Soundtrack composed by Alan Silvestri. It put me in the viking mood I needed to be in. But this too, is something I have no desire to revisit. I love this soundtrack, but it dredges up deep trauma for me.

One more thing. The author picture featured on the Crossover Alliance page for the book is a picture I took on June 3, 2014 at Douglas Park in Manistee, MI. I took this photo moments after parental visits were suspended. I knew my wife and I still had a long journey ahead of us. (And we did. It took six months of battling to adopt our daughter). But for Hummingbird, the trauma was over. As far as she would be aware, victory was accomplished on that day.

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So while that place is called "Douglas Park" to me it will always be called "Yahweh Yireh," The Lord Provides. He rescued my little girl on that day.


Amen.

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The End of Beowulf Month

8/31/2013

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I know, I know, most of you are cheering right now. The majority of my posts this month were about Beowulf and related media. And frankly, most people I’ve talked to about the Poem have said how much they hated having to read it in school.

So, even though I wasn’t able to enjoy everything I had intended to, August is at an end, and I need to move on, even though I wasn’t able to touch on:

  • Beowulf (2007) by Benjamin Bagby with an Anglo-Saxon harp
  • Outlander (2008) a science fiction film starring James Caviezel
  • Beowulf  Graphic Novel by Gareth Hinds (Hint, this is the best adaptation ever)
  • Beowulf the Board Game
  • Beowulf the Movie Board Game
  • Beowulf Action Figure by Art McFarland
  • Beowulf DC Comic -2012 (I might still review this one)
  • Beowulf Children’s Book
  • The IKEA/Beowulf Connection!

So, I guess I have plenty of material to go check out next year for the Second Annual Beowulf Month. Mark your calendars now for August 2014!

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Beowulf Month: Grendel

8/31/2013

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Summary: The 1971 novel Grendel sees author John Gardner enter into the world of Beowulf and tell the story from the perceptive of the monstrous Grendel.

Review: Gardener somehow manages to portray Grendel as a likable beast. But unlike many recent adaptations of the story, Grendel is not seen as a misunderstood creature. Grendel is a monster.

At his core, this protagonist is a nihilist. He initially thinks that only he exists, but abandons this view when he sees things beyond his own experience. But still, he persists in his own complete self-absorption.

John Gardner made a choice to tell the story with modern English, and also uses inter-textuality to tell the story. We see prose, poetry and even a stage-script or two appear in the story. Some of this works better than others. Unsurprising, the narration parts work much better than anything else.

The humor took me off guard in the book. It’s not throughout the book, but when it hits I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.


“Now and then some trivial argument would break out between [the men at the mead hall], and one of them would kill another one, and all the others would detach themselves from the killer as neatly as blood clotting, and they’d consider the case and they’d either excuse him, for some reason, or else send him out to the forest to live by stealing from their outlying pens like a wounded fox. At times I would try to befriend the exile, at other times I would try to ignore him, but they were treacherous. In the end, I had to eat them.”
I found the sections dealing with the dragon to be tedious, as well as the sections dealing with Hrothgar’s nephew, Hrothulf. But other than these missteps (and some salty language that somehow works) Grendel is a thoughtful insight into the mind of a self-absorbed monster, who thankfully, meets his end.

Fans of either Beowulf or good solid literature should check this title out.

Rating: 4/5 (I Really Liked It)

Find it here on Amazon.

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Beowulf Month: Beowulf Soundtrack (2007)

8/28/2013

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As a follow-up to the computer-generated Beowulf film, I listened to the Soundtrack composed by  Alan Silvestri. With a plethora of film credits to his name (including the Back to the Future Trilogy, Forrest Gump and The Avengers) Silvestri’s music is top-notched.

What surprised me is the wide variety in the music. The soundtrack explodes with Beowulf’s rock-inspired theme. Heavy choral themes move into foreboding songs, and are followed up by soft melodies. 

The only song that didn’t work for me was the closing credit song, which was a pop revision of “A Hero Comes Home.” The lyrics almost make Beowulf seem like a Christ character who will return again one day. Neither the poem, nor the film portray the hero in this light, so it really doesn’t make sense.

Other than this one misstep, the entire album is wonderful. Fans of soundtracks should certainly pick this one up. I think it is the best product of the 2007 film.

Rating: 5/5 (I Loved It)

Find it here on Amazon.


At once bombastic . . .
. . . then beautiful.
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Beowulf Month: 2007 Film

8/27/2013

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2007 saw the release of the motion-capture computer animated Beowulf directed by Robert Zemeckis. Along for this adaptation were superstar writers Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary. Armed with the digital acting abilities of actors Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich and Angelina Jolie, the film looked like it was going to be a hit on all levels.

What I Didn’t Like

  • Hrothgar is a weak-minded, drunk, Bacchus-like character. Unlike the Poem, he has no sons and no heirs. This simply doesn’t work, though. To be an effective king in Denmark in those times, he needed to have physical strength and mental prowess. This Hrothgar should have been deposed long before the film begins.
  • The Grendel design is more disturbing than monstrous (see comic below).
  • Unferth is portrayed as a Christian and he is an abusive, weak, conniving and imbecilic man.
  • The film is verbally, and visually aggressive against Christianity.
  • Some of the animation (especially of arms and hands) was particularly choppy.
  • The script tries really hard to get the “story behind the story” of the original Poem instead of just trying to tell the excellent story that already exists.
  • The script tries to “marry” the third act of the story to the previous parts. In doing so, the historical narrative of the Geats and their ultimate fate at the hands of the Swedes is obliterated.
  • Beowulf chooses to fight Grendel naked. It feels like a bad SNL skit as the camera tries to hide Beowulf’s parts behind various objects (vases, swords, etc.).
  • (Also, in what universe does fighting a monster nude make any sense?)
  • The film is obsessed with nudity while trying to maintain a PG-13 rating.
  • Grendel’s Mother is portrayed as a seductress instead of a monstrous she-demon.
  • The focus of the narrative is on the sexual sin of leaders. This theme overshadows the heroic aspects of the story.

What I Liked

  • Grendel only speaks in Old English. That was cool!
  • Some of the computer animation, even six years later, is amazing!
  • Beowulf’s overall demeanor is spot-on. He’s bombastic, prideful, boastful and focused on glory-getting!
  • This film has a pretty good pronunciation of “Hrothgar.”
  • The soundtrack is amazing. It is at once energetic, then becomes touching and moving.

I am conflicted here. On the one hand, I don’t like this film as a Beowulf story at all. It is a deconstructed parody of the original poem. While it portrays the tension between paganism and Christianity, the latter is (illogically) shown to be the weaker of the two worldviews. Furthermore, Beowulf’s heroism is mostly a farce in this story in light of his sexual sins.

But here’s where I’m conflicted. Here’s where I’m torn. Whereas the “Big Idea” of the Poem is, “When you have great abilities, you should train others so they will be equipped when you’re gone,” the big idea of this film is “Avoid sexual sin because it destroys much more than just yourself.”

The film actually has a phenomenal message embedded within it! A message our whole culture needs to understand. (Don’t believe me? Just ask any foster parent! Our private, sexual decisions affect the entire culture!)

[Spoiler Alert: It humors me to no end that the filmmakers brag about how original it was to have Hrothgar father Grendel. I’m pretty sure the Christopher Lambert version beat them out by at least eight years!]
 
Rating: 3/5 (I Reluctantly Liked It)

Find it here on Amazon.

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Here’s a comic strip I wrote right after I saw the film back in 2007.
Download the high-quality image here ------->
beowulf_film.jpg
File Size: 213 kb
File Type: jpg
Download File

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Beowulf Month: Beowulf Graphic Novel (2007)

8/26/2013

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There have been a number of graphic novels based on Beowulf. While I could easily have dedicated several months to reviewing these, I’ve chosen to write about the best of the best. Among these is the 2007 release written by Stefan Petrucha and drawn by Kody Chamberlain.

What I Didn’t Like

  • The closing narration line of the book is oddly out of place for the book. It sounds like a modern philosophical musing and the tone doesn’t fit with the rest of the story.
  • (I can’t believe I’m writing this) The Grendels are too massive and monstrous.
  • There is very little design difference between Grendel and his mother. A bit more variety would have been great.

What I Liked

  • Hrothgar is portrayed as a strong and good king!
  • The art is wonderful.
  • The writing is great.
  • The story faithfully follows the Poem, while translating it for  a modern audience.   
  • There is good tension between the pagan concept of “wyrd” (fate) and the Christian God’s sovereignty.

This is a great volume to get a hold of. It is among the best adaptations of the Poem out there. It’s a great resource both for those who don’t want to read the Poem, or for those who want a great visual expression of Beowulf.

Rating: 5/5 (I Loved It)

Grab a copy over at Amazon.


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Beowulf Month: Beowulf and Grendel Film

8/22/2013

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A 2005 independent film release, Beowulf and Grendel starring Gerard “Before He Was Leonidas” Butler as the title character.

While some commentators have described this adaptation as a naturalistic interpretation of the Poem, I disagree. The film is a more naturalized version of the legend, but it doesn’t demythologize the story entirely. Grendel looks much more human, but he is still monstrous. His mother is even more monstrous. A witch possesses divination ability (with somewhat legitimate results). And a brief vision forebodes the death of one of our characters.

Take a peak at the trailer.

Beowulf & Grendel - Trailer from Sturla Gunnarsson on Vimeo.

What I Didn’t Like


  • There is a pervasive anti-Christian theme running through the film. Christians are liars, exaggerators, and impotent. Brennan, a missionary, is portrayed as absolutely insane, weak, profane, petty and vindictive.
  • With such a negative view of Christianity, it makes no sense that Brennan is able to baptize a number of people.
  • The script does not understand the gospel, nor how it would have historically been presented. The gospel in the film is a modern mischaracterization, translated into the past.
  • Hrothgar is, once again, portrayed as a powerless and incompetent king.
  • They call mead “beer” throughout the film. Mead is made from honey. Beer is made from grain.
  • The constant profanity and vulgarity in the film. It didn’t offend me, but it just didn’t fit.
  • Clunky and inconsistent dialogue. The film went from poetic and archaic language, to modern idioms constantly.
  • Gross sexual dialogue in two instances and one scene (divided in two) of a particularly disturbing sexual encounter. What’s further disturbing is that this scene is interpreted as rape by most viewers, but some of the filmmakers don’t see it that way.
  • The film fails to distinguish the difference between murder and killing. There is a moral difference between killing a person in cold blood, killing someone out of vengeance and killing in the midst of warfare to protect oneself and one’s home.
  • The story departs from and openly mocks the Poem.
  • The story structure does not work.

What I Liked

  • The cinematography is beautiful. Both the locations and the way they were filmed are breath-taking.
  • I like how they portray Grendel in the film visually (calling him a “troll”).
  • There is an anti-vengeance theme in the film and they correctly portray the vicious cycle of vengeance.
  • Tony Curran, one of the thanes in 13th Warrior was also a thane in this film.
  • The acting is really good.
  • Gerard Butler’s presence is great.

Beowulf and Grendel is a film I desperately want to like. The cinematography is unbelievable. The film was shot entirely using natural effects. There’s no computer graphics to be found here.

Beyond the grotesque moments of the film and the clunky dialogue, what I think really injures the movie is the filmmaker’s obsession with mocking Christianity. It hurts the story and actually makes no sense. They acknowledge that Christianity eventually takes hold of the pagan world, but they give us no reason to believe that it would. Not for one second. The Christian religion is portrayed as a weak, vindictive, incoherent faith presented by a man who is mentally insane. Why would it triumph over paganism?

Furthermore, the anti-vengeance theme of the story comes from an outcast, pagan witch, not the Christian characters. But, once again, history paints a different picture (especially in the Northlands). It was this message of love, forgiveness and not taking vengeance that the pagans found as weakness. And it is one of the reasons Christianity was initially resisted.

Even without this weirdness (fueled by anti-Christian sensibilities) the story still doesn’t quite add up.

There was so much potential in this film. Even with the divergence from the Poem, it could have been an amazing film. But misfire after misfire leaves this film only watchable for the cinematography.

Rating: 2/5 (I Didn’t Like It)

The cinematography can be found on Amazon. 
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Beowulf Month: Video Game

8/21/2013

3 Comments

 
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Coinciding with the 2007 blockbuster, Ubisoft released a Beowulf game based on the movie.

I played the PC version of the game. (Perhaps the PS3 or XBox versions were better.)

What I Liked

  • Absolutely nothing.

What I Didn’t Like

  • The controls were clunky.
  • For a hack and slash video game there was very little hack and slash.
  • The game mechanics often required a “press the button at the right time” battle feature. I don’t think anyone enjoys that.
  • Even though my system far exceeds the optimum requirements for this game, I had to minimize the graphic options to get it to run somewhat smoothly.

I tried to give this game a chance. I really did. But I found areas impassable (press up now, then left, then right… and if you miss it try a new combination over and over and over again)!

If you like video games… avoid this one.

I’ll be using this game as a coaster!

Rating : 0/5 (I Hated It)

Get your Beowulf coaster for $0.01 at Amazon!

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Beowulf Month: Biowulf Manga

8/20/2013

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In 2006, author and artist David Hutchinson released a three-issue limited comic series simply titled Beowulf. It was later released in a collected edition, then re-issued as a pocket manga entitled Biowulf.

In the book, Beowulf  is a bio-engineered mercenary. He arrives with his soldiers at the advanced war installation Herod, to kill the demon-creature, Grendel for King Hrothgar.

What I Didn’t Like

  • The story only spans three issues, and the pacing feels rushed by the end.
  • The first comic tries to insert some humor, but it feels very out of place in this title.
  • The story only deals with the first two acts of The Poem.
  • King Hrothgar is essentially a bad guy in this retelling.
  • Some of the dialogue is clunky.

What I Liked

  • The art work is amazing on this title. The art by itself is worth the price of admission!
  • The bio-engineered world Hutchinson created works well with the Beowulf myth.
  • The design for Grendel is awesome!
  • There are some really cool science fiction elements infused with steam punk!
  • The overall story is pretty good (despite the feeling that there should be more to the story).

I remember reading this a number of years ago and being rather unimpressed. Upon re-reading it, however, I found myself enjoying it a great deal. There are certainly a few clunky story-telling elements, and the ending seems like there was supposed to be a follow-up series (although some conflicts are resolved), but the art and imagination both shine bright.

This title probably isn’t for everyone, but fans of Beowulf, post-apocalyptic dystopian steam-punk futures, and comic art should check it out!

Rating: 4/5 (I Really Liked It)

Find the Trade Paperback here.
Find the Manga style book here.

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Beowulf Month: The 13th Warrior

8/18/2013

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I saw this film long before I ever read The Poem, so I did not know that this 1999 pseudo-historical movie was based on Beowulf. Based on the Michael Crichton novel Eaters of the Dead, the film went through several years of development, re-shoots, edits and even re-scoring before it was finally released. Once released it was panned by critics, and bombed in the box office.

The film is narrated by Ahmad ibn Fadlan (Antonio Banderas), a Muslim Arab who was punished into exile as an ambassador to the Northlands. While there, he is forced to become the 13th Warrior on a quest to stop the malevolent Wendel from their non-stop slaughter of men.

So what did I think?

What I Didn’t Like

  • It is unfortunate that Crichton decided to use a Muslim to frame/narrate the story rather than a Christian. He was basing his story on Beowulf and a Christian character would have better served as narrator since a Christian narrator is featured in The Poem.
  • Ahmad ibn Fadlan’s “final prayer” scene best reflects a “Confiteor" prayer used in the Mass of the Roman Catholic Church, not in Muslim prayer.
  • Hrothgar’s name is pronounced with a weak “H” but I would have preferred a guttural!
  • There is some really cheap CGI (SyFy Original movie quality) right in the beginning of the film. Almost every other effect is practical, so if feels out of place.

What I Liked

  • Crichton changed the name of the cast of characters. Most notably, Beowulf is now Buliwyf (pronounced “bull-vi”). The author was going for a more historical feel, so this works well.
  • Despite my previous comments, having a Theist Muslim’s perspective contrasting with the pagan beliefs of the Northmen works very well. It creates tension and intrigue.
  • The music score is awesome.
  • The detailed sets, locations and historical details are wonderful.
  • The first third of the film deals heavily with languages. While this sounds rather dull, the filmmakers made this very dynamic.
  • In the background of the second Wendel attack, one of the Northmen is seen lifting up and rolling a horse! The fight scenes feel fluid, gritty and “naturally awesome.”
  • The final prayer before battle (see below) is a particularly strong and moving moment.

I actually really like this film. I suppose the characterization could have been stronger, but this is actually one of my favorite films. The story, the action, and the script are enjoyable and engaging.

The 13th Warrior, unlike The Poem, has a happy ending. But, then again, this movie is really about Ahmad ibn Fadlan and features Beowulf.

With the strong religious themes, the film gives viewers quite a bit to talk about concerning the contrasting beliefs of the characters in the film which will most likely also contrast with the viewer’s beliefs.

Rating: 5/5 (I Loved It)

Note: Rated R for bloody battles and carnage



(Spoilers Below!)
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