Take a look (names have been redacted to protect the guilty):
Second, the fake email address "email@example.com" is hilarious! Third, there's some grammatical problems with this card. Finally, the penmanship is amazing. It is the most beautiful pen-work I've ever seen. There is no comparison in the entirety of human history. Therefore, this "communication card bandit" must be a girl because everyone knows that only girls have decent handwriting! (And that's a statement . . . not a fact!)
We may need to start doing some lab tests on these cards to find the perpetrator!
The text reads:
To my dismay, Tyler [redacted] is home from school and is in attendance in the service. I fear that my sermon will be sufficient [sic] in impressing such an awesome person. Tyler [redacted] is the epitome of coolness so I fear my preaching skills aren't up to par of his coolness.