Nathan James Norman
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Nathan James Norman

Husband. Father. Pastor.
Storyteller. Reader. Comic Fan.
Slave of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Orchard Church

Torment, Khan and Star Trek

12/11/2012

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"I only torment those I love."

I have often said this over the course of my life while harassing my friends, family and co-workers. I recently re-watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and I was shocked to find out how often I quoted this film when tormenting my loved ones!

In fact, if I ever decided to become a villain . . . I'm pretty sure I'd be donning a fake plastic chest like Ricardo Montalban!

Here's some of the great lines (and situations) I've used in years past:

"You are in a position to demand nothing, I on the other hand am in a position to grant nothing . . ."
(In response to "Nathan, can I borrow your bike?")


"Ah my friend Kirk do you know the klingon proverb that tells us 'Revenge is a dish best served cold'? It is very cold in space."
(This was a favorite one when attacking friends with freezer snowballs in June!)


"I mean to avenge myself on you . . . ."
(This was my response when someone walked in on me before my schemes were completed and they asked "what are you doing?")


"Time is a luxury you don't have . . . ."
(My go-to response to any request to "give me a sec!")


"To the last I grapple with thee . . ."
(Usually something involving wrestling at the top a hill somewhere and me forcing my foe or foes off the side of the hill.)


"He tasks me! He tasks me!"
(Usually this one followed after my mom saying something to the effect of "Why do you keep bothering your brother?")


"I've done far worse than kill you, I've hurt you. And wish to go on hurting you, I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her, in a room for all eternity, at the center of a dead of a dead planet... buried alive, buried alive."
(This was, and is my favorite. I often abbreviate it to "I shall leave you as you left me . . .  buried alive . . .  buried alive." And this one can involve anything from collapsing the entrance to a snow fort, locking someone out of the house, or other random acts of mischief that really don't have anything to do with the situation!)

And here's the line as it actually was delivered:

And sometimes I used this one "Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins":
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