Nathan James Norman
  • Blog
  • Writer
  • Pastor
  • Bookshelf
  • Links
  • Contact

Nathan James Norman

Husband. Father. Pastor.
Storyteller. Reader. Comic Fan.
Slave of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The Orchard Church

Why TV Dating Relationships Fail

4/9/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
More or less, this is how strong relationships are built . . . right?













I just heard Eva Longria comment about how the majority of "dating show" marriages end in ruin and breakup. She further went on to say that her new show, Ready for Love  would be different because it would use professional matchmakers to bring together people who want to get married.

Well, ever since hearing that sound clip (and seeing the show promo) I really don't think there is anything different from this show and The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Love in the Wild  or Battlestar Galactica! (Just kidding about that last one . . . I'm just making sure you're still reading!)

Sure, the process in this new show is different than the umpteen similar basic cable knock-off shows. But at their heart, these shows force the "contestants" to ask one question: "Which one of these people do I want to marry?"

Now, that might not seem like too bad of a question . . . but think about it in context of nearly every other dating relationship. Right before a person gets engaged, he or she isn't asking themselves, "Which one of these people do I want to marry?" No, we've spent some time with one person, and only one person, and ask ourselves "Do I want to marry this person?"

Do you see the difference?

The first question gives one person (usually the man) a number of options and he chooses the one that best suits himself. In the second question, however, the individual still must make a choice to commit him or herself to another person, but they are only making that decision about one person.

The dating show paradigm introduces an unhealthy and unfair precedent into the relationship: comparison. The decision to marry a person was arrived at via comparison to other persons.

The rest of us, certainly decided to initially pursue a relationship based on comparison . . . but by the time we came to the marital commitment we made our final decision based on the person and the person alone.

So, the foundation of the dating show is one of comparison and competition. The foundation of pretty much ever other marriage is based on commitment to an individual.

I'm not saying that it's impossible for dating show marriages to survive. But I am saying that they don't have a very strong foundation to start off with.

One last note: If the dating show paradigm was adopted into the everyday culture it would be correctly denounced as misogynistic (or whatever it would be called in the case of The Bachelorette), but we put it on television and it becomes "tender," "sweet," and "romantic."

What do you think? I'm not damning the shows . . . but I may be suggesting that we think of them as fictions a little lower than sci-fi. 

But am I totally off base here?

2 Comments
Steve Balcom
4/9/2013 10:47:12 pm

Great points! I'm not a fan of any of these shows (well, except Battlestar Galactica), as they seem to take relationships lightly, with a "Well, if it works great; if not ok" attitude.

Reply
Nathan J. Norman link
4/10/2013 07:03:58 am

Thanks Steve! I agree, there is certainly very little regard for the persons as actual individuals with real feelings and intrinsic value.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Art
    Axiom
    Beowulf
    Christmas
    Comics
    Drabble
    Flash Fiction
    Foster Care
    Good Friday
    Humor
    Infertility
    Interviews
    Memes
    Music
    Politics
    Practical
    Preaching
    Reviews
    Speculative
    Theology
    Tragedy
    Trinity Watch
    Untold Podcast
    Video
    Writing

    Blog Roll

    Albert Mohler
    Breakpoint
    Christian Humanist
    Christian Geek Central
    Critical Press Media
    David N. Alderman
    Doug Geivett

    Good Book Blog
    Living With Cogan
    Open Biola
    Project Rooftop
    Reasonable Faith
    Running Slowly w/ Kids
    Spirit Blade Underground
    Strangers and Aliens
    The Table Podcast
    This Old Farmhouse

    Archives

    April 2022
    March 2022
    November 2021
    August 2021
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    March 2020
    October 2019
    September 2019
    February 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    February 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012